Thursday, February 26, 2009

... on hold? stalled? dead?

Time to fill in this blank.

I moved. I created an online cv/portfolio for my game design job hunt. I learned UnrealEd and 3dsMax. I resumed work in dromed. I have not been working on COT.

I am a little discouraged about it, thinking again that I don't really know what would make all of the work I've done worth it. I don't even really know what worth it would mean. I continue to grapple with the "fanfictions ought not to be written" concept versus the "this isn't really a fanfiction, it's something else" fantasy and the "I am really only doing this for practice and experience" excuse. On top of it all is the higher truth that I don't need to pretend this is something it isn't, I don't need to justify it to anyone, and I wouldn't have already spent so much time on if if it wasn't worth it to myself merely writing it. Noone will read it who doesn't actually want to and the only ones who will ridicule it will be the ones who don't actually want to read it.

It all comes back to Daneel Todulem. I am going to change the name. The question is... am I changing it because I think I should, or because I want to? The truth is that I like the new name I came up with more than that name - but is it honest to do so? Why pretend that this is something it isn't? Why disguise it? Will it make the story more accessible to people if they do not believe that one of the six main characters is "played by" the author? Maybe it will.

I also can't forget this truism: you can only be at your best when you're taking yourself the least seriously.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

... who do you want to see?

I've been putting off this offer for a while now, because I am too indecisive about who I want to see. An artist whom I have worked with extensively has offered to do sketches of COT characters, on the basis that this would be concept art, and not fan art. (This means that her work would then become what that character actually looks like, and reflected in either the remaining chapters or revisions if they happen).

I am still indecisive, so I'll ask my (probably only three) blog readers. Who would you like to see?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

... poll results on the pole

Looks like two polls have expired in the mean time. The first makes it clear that most of the people here (a whopping five of you) think that scenes set in OM locations are good for the story. Well, that's good, because there's a bunch of them!

The second poll about loose ends was split 2/2 between what would essentially be a COT2 that was a "second season" and a COT2 that is a sequel. (The third option would have been more like COT2 as a spin-off). Even though it's a tie, it sounds like most people don't want things wrapped up in a neat little bow. Well, I can promise you that, but because I have no idea if or when I'll do COT2, there's no way I am going to leave anything big unfinished at the end of COT.

Any ideas for a new poll? There's only two votes for the last open one. I don't think anyone reads this blog anymore.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

... writer's block?

I took a break from writing for about two and a half weeks. More? I don't know. Having a hard time getting back into it. Ugh.

Supplemental: Okay, I managed to finish up the section I had stopped in the "middle" of. Now let's see if I can write the next section... one thing at a time.